Getting out of the “Man Box”
The man code: What would you do something if a man smacked his wife (assumption) in the mall? The man code says stay out of another man’s business. At the conference I learned today that men will not step in if the women belonged to the man = wife-daughter-girl-friend. If men see a women attacked by a stranger they would get involved = criminal. If it is a husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend…..we think about the women as property. We got to change our change our attitudes about women.
The traditional wedding ceremony in the America. This example has been adapted by Muslims. Although in the tradition of the marriage of the prophet Muhammad, as, Khadijah, ra, choose and offered herself to the prophet in marriage.
When a woman walks passed a group of men she is concerned about her safety. After a day at the conference I went to the food court at the mall next to my hotel. Some young women passed by me and passed around my table in the mall, one of them spoke to me and then laughed at her friends. She was showing that she was bold enough to “hit on me” so to speak. She only said, “hi” but I never felt unsafe. I think that if this was a group of boys and they walked passed a female she would have had a different feeling, even if she is a black belt or if she’s packing. The feeling of personal safety of women and girls is real.
People make and ASA, Automatic safety assessment, and men and women make different assessments based on our gender. People of color make these assessment on the regular.
One afternoon Naeem Muhammad and I checked into a hotel in the deep south……
We opened the door, walked into the room and looked out the window. The window of the room faced a parking lot and the side of wooded hill side. Immediately, I walked to window and looked at the brother with me in the eye. He looked at me and said, “Yeah” and I closed the curtains. We made the “Black man – Muslim” in the deep south Automatic-Safety-Assessment moment together. Women go through this kind of feeling and ASA many times a day.